Investments. Profits. ROI. Capital. Industry.

Are you lost yet? Business lingo is the best/dumbest. If you use these words, you are a tool, but you probably make a lot of money. I do all this business bashing, but sometimes we have to use these silly words (I admit to it). And guilty by association, sometimes we all have to be a bit toolish to speak the language of those…business people.

And with all this business language floating around in my head currently, I was thinking about how it relates to relationships.

I have something to share. It may cause some controversy. I can hear the ruckus now.

I have a feeling…

Something that never really mattered for me to divulge until now is that I am in the filmmaking world. But you need to know that now, so there ya go! Film, YAY!

There’s something I have noticed in this said filmmaking world. All of the successful women in film are all…single. I’m even talking about the people here in my red dirt state. The ones that are really successful either have hubby’s who are M.I.A. most of the time or they are single. The big wigs, Sundance winners…Oscar nominated…most of them are single (obvious disclaimer: I am not saying ALL).

So I thought to myself. Well, why?

I think I know. Or I have an idea of why. Investment. When you decide what you want, i.e. a goal, if you are driven you will get there. Your investments of time and energy pour into this other thing and has no business being pulled in the direction of a relationship. Guys think they want a woman that is driven, ambitious, independent. Guess what? They don’t. (most of them) Their egos get in the way. The ego will always win in the end if you don’t know how to control it.

Driven people are drawn to other driven people. But guess what, there’s only one wheel in a car for a reason.

I know what you are thinking? OH, here she goes…crazy 25swf thinking she knows things again. And you say, “But every plane has two sets of controls, silly girl!” AHA! But that’s different…(and that’s all I’m going to say about that).

So back to my awesome car analogy. There’s one wheel, but who cares about a wheel without the rest of the damn car? The tires, the oil…you need it all to make the dern thing go anywhere! And like a relationship, everyone has to put in some oil, help change the tires, and run general maintenance. It’s time consuming, expensive, and stressful. But that car can take you to places. On journeys and adventures. And if it’s running well, you will get to wherever you are going…together.

And me. I like to steer. Just my personality I guess, but sometimes…I want to enjoy the ride. When I’m in the passenger seat I look around, enjoy more, notice the small things and soak into the warmth and rhythm of the engine’s hum…I usually fall asleep.

I want someone to split the driving up with. 50/50. And when it comes to cooking, 25/75 (they are the 75).


You take the first 4 hours, I take the last 4 hours. Let's do this. (preferably, but not required, in THIS sexy car)

Now that’s a relationship I could really see some return on investments (ROI) from. But does it exist?

Is it possible that filmy/creative people have to (in order to achieve a highly successful career) invest everything into that goal. If you are one or know somebody that digs deep into this profession and is successful then you may know what I’m talking about. It’s insane. It’s all consuming. All encompassing of your attention, efforts, talent, and energy.

But is the career investment profit worth it? At this point in my life, I believe it is. I can’t invest myself fully in a relationship right now because of recent heartache tragedies, but also because I don’t want to. I don’t want my energy to go somewhere else. Into someone else (who may or may not break my heart). And at this point in my life, no one deserves it.

Though I AM ready to invest in some quality making out time with a hot guy soon. Maybe it’s just the moon, but lately May 20 can’t come soon enough.

Yours all biznassed out,



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