(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)
I know I’m not ready to date.
And that’s okay.
I’m really not interested in dating… as far as relationships go. But I am interested in men and women who interest me (?), and I am interested in going out. And I am interested in “the chase” and “the game” (because let me tell you, I got some game). And I am interested in SEX… and I also think that SEX should always be written as such.
Herein lies the problem, because it would seem that you cannot just do all of the above without personal lives, and emotions, and possible deep feelings, or some other junk like that getting in the way (See: No Strings Attached… stop making blockbusters out of my life, Natalie Portman!!). Granted, two weeks ago I decided it was high time I got some no-strings-attached attention and began seeking a legitimate partner for weekend activities.
I thought I had control of the situation until I realized that there is absolutely no way around the dating process, even if you’re not dating… that is, if you wish to remain free of creepy randos. Not that dating anyone ever meant they were not a creepy rando… but I digress.
Now, I’m not looking to get married next week, or hell- even next year, but I still find myself making the same decisions and having the same expectations that I would if I were looking for a serious love interest. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing- to expect someone I want to see naked on a regular basis to be open and honest and dependable and trustworthy… and hot… and all the other things I would want in a person that I was genuinely interested in.
Maybe this is the point where you are asking yourself, “Where is she going with all of this??” And well, I will tell you.
DON’T EVER THINK YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH RELATIONSHIPS!
Because you don’t. Yes, that is sooo crabby sounding, I know, but that is really first and foremost the one thing I personally have learned through all my years of boyfriends, girlfriends, manfriends, dates, lovers, one night stands, engagements (!), and breakups.
The best thing that can be done is to know yourself and know what you want, expect, and deserve from other people. No matter who the person is or what the relationship is about, that list of desirables is applicable to everyone in every situation. Whether they are potential life-partners, or potential night-partners, YOU still deserve the best and only the best.
And girl, “You can have whatever you like….”
Hungry in the Big City,
“Whether they are potential life-partners, or potential night-partners, YOU still deserve the best and only the best.” I couldn’t have said it any better myself. I hope the “best” is out there working through their shit too. Wouldn’t that be nice? If everyone worked through their shit.
nicely put 50ftMEW, “The best thing that can be done is to know yourself and know what you want, expect, and deserve from other people. ” It’s hard to have a handle on all four of these components at the same time. The mere fact that you recognize that this is the winning combination… well, lets just say I don’t think you’ll be hungry in the big city for long…
Though it would seem like it is a difficult task to conquer all of those subjects at once, it is a lot easier when you understand that they are really all the same thing- the one path to some kind of peace and happiness (and love!?). 🙂