Guest Blogger – 1foot: The Importance of Lone Wolfiness

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

I have been cultivating my lone wolf status for SOME TIME NOW.

wolfy growl!

That’s me, bitches. I howl at the moon, alone, and I even LIKE it. ALONE!! In fact, a few months back, I discovered that I could actually give myself a back massage. That’s right.

sexy time

The ultimate sexy time maneuver, performed sans lusty oily man fingers, by little ole’ single me. You know you want to try it. Because it feels great. And because it’s pretty much one of the single most “single” things you could ever do.

Guess what else rocks about being alone? Going to sleep when I want to go to sleep (even if it’s only 9PM), taking long baths, having epic Bones marathons… and when I’m feeling really rowdy, I even combine the baths and the Bones. It looks a little something like this:


Sometimes I even take naps in the middle of the day on a weekend. On a mountaintop. No, really. (…)

sleepy! I'm sleepy.

And I absolutely look that cute when I’m napping too. Just FYI. (OR FYPI!! Shout out to 25swf! …man, inside jokes do NOT work on blog posts. Sorry. I would explain but it obviously wouldn’t be funny.)

Sometimes I eat at 3 in the morning, or drink an assload of tea and then pee a lot, or lounge around unshowered after a workout. Or eat peanut butter crunch and potstickers* for dinner. ALONE.

Yep. This old lone wolf sure enjoys being alone.

But you know what else is kinda great about being alone? The fact that you can SO easily/quickly get used to not being alone. But, you know what’s really freaking SCARY about not being alone? The fact that you can potentially go back to being alone again SO easily. Conundrum.

What follows here, is, I tell you that I met someone. A fellow lone wolf. Who is now dating me. And we’re like, the cutest little wolves you ever did see. We’re like this:

2 cute

Aren’t they (we!) CUTE?!?!

Here is where I officially stop posting wolf pictures. And tell you straight up, that even though we’re super cute, this shit scares the shit out of my shit. Or, more eloquently, the possibility of letting my wolfish guard down makes my heart speed up and my hands sweat a little. Isn’t it absurd?

I mean, Wolfy came over to my place when I was home sick, made me soup, told me he liked me, asked me to be his Valentine, and then brought me a flower. And since then we have painted pictures, gone bowling, made dinners together, bathed a stray dog, set off fireworks in my apartment, started to choreograph a 70s dance, and planned out wizard characters in Skyrim. And he’s a friend of the animals. And we have fake karate fights that end in… well. Anyway. Someone musta given him tips on how to woo me, because it is WORKING.

And I say again, it’s terrifying.

So I want to solicit advice! You can quote some song lyrics, or poetry, or John Wayne, or Han Solo, or just tell me I’m stupid. Whatever you think I need to hear. What do you do when you’re in those beginning stages and everything is so new and scary and you’re balancing between trying to stay cool/take it slow, guard yourself from being potentially hurt, and also not push that person away? Any tactics for guarding your heart, or do you just go for it, balls to the wall, and sink or swim?

*Disclaimer: I don’t actually have the eating habits of an 8-year-old but I just have both of those things in my house right now. And I would definitely eat them together if the opportunity arose and I wanted to pretend to be an 8-year-old.

i can't stop.

Okay, just one more. Sorry. But they’re so CUTE!! Oh wolves.



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