In my last post I left you guys hanging with cancer thoughts and flea infestations. And by you guys, I mean the three people who stumble upon this blog because they Google “Kate Winslet naked,” and this comes up. Welcome, friends!

I apologize for my leave of absence, but here I am now giving you the fun news.

So my mom was officially diagnosed with COLON CANCER. (CANCER should always be capitalized to make it feel important, because nowadays it’s so common and not so “cool” anymore). She is 62 years old and had never done her recommended colonoscopy starting at age 50.

Why are colonoscopies important? Well, when done regularly, they just zap any polyps they find during the procedure. If not done, the polyps (which everyone gets eventually), turn into CANCER. So, FYI, this is totally and utterly avoidable…via colonoscopies.

So my mom, the love of my life, had her surgery on Monday of this week. I sat there alone-ish (with a Jewish Brit) in the waiting room handling it. Pretending like I was in there waiting for someone else. Someone that was a friend of a friend.

My godfather was supposed to be with me the entire time but had an anxiety attack super last minute. I was furious. Not at the time, but afterwards when I called, texted, left messages about being concerned for his well-being and never heard back until later that night. I was supposed to be worrying about my mom, not a grown ass man called my “godfather.” I felt so much anger. I was not mentally prepared to be alone. After calling around the hospital I found out that she had been taken to recovery after the 3 1/2 hour long surgery. I was told it would take 1 1/2 hours.

I carried all of our bags…which were way too much for one person to carry, around the entire (felt like it, but really wasn’t) hospital as they told me one room, but switched it again.

When I finally arrived at room 305, I was worried to walk in. What would be on the other side? Tubes coming out of her head? Loud machines? My imagination was going wild with visions of Basketball Diaries hospital scenes. I don’t even know why that was what popped into my mind? I’m weird.

So I walked in and there she was. Smiling and talking slowly. The morphine was doing it’s job and my mom was all in one piece, sans a fist sized tumor of evil colon CANCER.

Now we wait for the results of the lymph nodes. This will tell us if she has to do chemotherapy treatment. Whatever the results, we will deal with it.

The fleas are another story. I’ll see where they lie tomorrow. Hopefully down and dead. Last time I checked the soapy flea trap plates 4 days ago there were just a few around. This is the best website I found with flea killing advice. Keep it handy since I know three other people who have had this same exact problem.

For now, this 26 single white female has learned a lot and would love if someone else could learn something as well before it’s too late. When loved ones are in the hospital the best thing you can do for the time being is check on them and offer to feed the feeder…the person waiting with the patient is often neglected and doesn’t have much time or energy to feed themselves. Plus, they don’t want to miss the surgeon in case they come in (once a day) to give good (or bad) news.

I had one person offer to do this for me during my time here and I really can’t tell you what that meant for me. It made me stronger for my mom, and since I’m an only child (and she’s single), I’m it baby.

You may be asking where is Mr. M was during all this hub-bub…he got back from a business trip on Monday evening and has no safe way to get to Tulsa. He’s been my phone rock.

All this to say, watch the fleas on your pet/apartment and get your colonoscopies. A lot of time, money, and tears could be saved if you just did these couple of things this month.

Yours booing CANCER and championing colonoscopies,



2 thoughts on “BOO CANCER.

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