A Month Hiatus

Apparently I took a hiatus from blogging without knowing. Today marks 30 days since my last post, which to my knowledge, I have never done before. Apparently I was feeling uninspired. Or rather, I felt compelled to think more than write. But I’m back. And ready to rant and rave about all the relationship fixins that drive me crazy and keep my hungry for more. It’s a sick, sad world when your single, and even sicker/sadder when your taken. 😉

So what do I want to talk about after 30 days of silence? Something very big. VERY, VERY big.

As of this weekend I will no longer be 25.

26 is rearing it’s ugly head, and when I say ugly I really mean sexy. 26 is going to be sexy. I can feel it. It’s one letter off, six. sex. six. See? 26 doesn’t need reasons why it’s the shiat. It knows it is and just saying it makes it enough.

So who is going to be 25 single white female? I still am. Mostly because I bought the domain name, and I’m not really single anymore (unless I fill out a government form, and I still am)…so whatever, it’s all a mess. That’s the way I like it.

Speaking of the way I like it…some things are cookin’ in the proverbial kitchen but I can’t quite talk about them yet. Just let it be known, some serious changes may be coming down the way. And (as always) I will be taking you all with me. And hopefully Mr. M, too. 😀

Yours waiting on an email,

25swf

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I’m very close

I’m very close to buying my mom an eHarmony subscription, account, dealio. The woman has been single for…25 years. I am 25 years old. You do the math. (I only give you easy problems) I can’t even imagine my mom with another man. It weirds me out a little. But I want it for her. I want her to be happy (happier). Let me explain.

For years the reason for her singledom has been that she’s happy with her life and she doesn’t need anyone. She has said that sometimes she gets lonely, but not enough to put up with another person.

My mom has been married twice. She was not married when she got pregnant with me, at the age of 35. My dad was not too kind when that happened. I believe the words he told her, before he drove off were, “You need to think about how you got yourself in this situation.” He wanted her to have an abortion. She didn’t want to. 9 months later, Baby Girl (insert last name here) was born. I didn’t have a name when I went home from the hospital. I digress…

e harmonyMy mom needs a buddy. A pal. A man. A guy friend. A date. A wang.

She’s “happy” alone…but here’s the deal. She’s afraid to admit that she’s lonely. It makes her more lonely. But I can tell. I know this woman…and she is lonely.

She’s elluded to be curious about dating sites. She’s never took the leap before. Mainly because of money. Online love is expensive! $59.95 for one month on eharmony. I KNOW! Dannnng.

So I’m ______ this close to doing it. Her birthday is right around the corner. She will be 61. It’s about time she found an old fart to fart around with.

Yours hopeful for interwebz luv for my mama,

25swf

update: I bought the subscription and at first she was upset that I “wasted” my money…but knowing my mom, I let it sink in and she’s already talking about losing weight and getting ready to start going on dates and getting some free dinners. It’s a step, I’d say!

Guest Blogger – 27swf: The Sweet Spot

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

This week I turned 28. And though age 28 often flies under the radar, it’s actually quite a significant birthday: it’s the year that one completes her first decade as an adult.

I started pondering where I am, 10 years in, and where I was, 10 years ago: I’ve got a College and Master’s degree, I’ve had great job experiences, including the one I’m in now, a career I love, wonderful friends, legs that run marathons & hike mountains. I know what foods give me heartburn, how to straighten my hair and how many drinks it takes for me to transform from sweet girl to pool shark (1.5 exactly).

In general, I’m feeling pretty great about who I’ve become.

Except, yesterday, I started thinking about that episode on Friends I saw just about 10 years ago. Rachel and Ross had just broken up (for the fifth time, probably). Rachel realizes she wants to have babies…with a husband…by age 32…and starts counting backwards, only to realize that she’d need to marry someone tomorrow to fulfill her life’s plan (how ironic, given real-life Jennifer Aniston’s own romantic trajectory).

I thought about Rachel and how I’m finally reaching that age — the age at which, ten years in, the biological clock is (whether I want to believe it) starting to tick. Slowly, but nonetheless, moving forward…

I remind myself that I look young and feel even younger than I am. But the hard numbers don’t lie. There are risks to waiting for pregnancy, not to mention articles like this one  that encourage me to believe I’m becoming a less desirable mate, spouse, life partner, whatever with each passing day.

So what’s a girl to do? Cry (in your car, on the phone, in front of the TV). Online date? Or, my favorite, ask your friends to set you up, only to hear them laugh (because they’re married/in a relationship and don’t understand) or reply with the equally frustrating “I wish I was still single — go out! Have fun! This is the best time of you’re life!”

I feel like I’m in the sweet spot of being old enough to know how old I’m not (yes, age 30, I see you giving me the death stare from across the room). But, I’m also old enough to know that I’m young…and that more awaits me…at least I hope.

As I get older, my standards get higher because, well, it just takes a lot more to impress me. Call me an a**hole, but I’ve never been one to settle, and the more accomplished I become, the more unaccomplished people there are below me. At 18, I was happy to be with someone in college, at 21 I was happy to date someone who went to college, at 23, he needed to have a college degree, and a job. At 25, I wanted someone with a college degree, a job, and real career goals. Now, at 28? I’m looking for someone who has all the above…and more. A real salary would be nice too. I see myself getting more picky, all the while feeling like I’m becoming less attractive to the opposite sex.  Most people reading this will say that my cynicism and expectations are making me less attractive. Well, sorry. That’s just how I feel.

Call me crazy. But these days, I just find myself sort of depressed by the whole scenario —

While I may be in the sweet spot, lately, I’m feeling rather bitter…

Yours,

27swf

My confession

Soooooo, I have something to confess.

Ya know how my name is 25 single white female?

Well…When I started this blog I was NOT 25. I was actually 23, about to turn 24.

And the confession, welp, I turn 25 this week. So what am I going to do after next year? Welp, be 26 single white female, silly!

cat birthday cake

Don't judge...who doesn't like cat birthday cake pictures? Exactly.

Turning 25 is really, stupidly exciting to me. I know it’s not supposed to be a big birthday, but to me it’s the ultimate 20-year-old birthday. Better than 21. At 21 you are still really dumb. In terms of most things in your life, you are still immature and now you can drink, woopidy doo-da. I’m not an alcoholic, so I didn’t really care. It’s just more convenient to be over 21.

But 25. Oh, twenty-five. You glorious beautifully solid, odd number you. 25 is graceful.

25 is experienced. 25 is experiencing. 25 is wiser. 25 is mid-twenties. 25 is confident. And my favorite part about 25…

25 is brain solidfying.

What do I mean by that, you ask? Intriguing, I know!

It’s science! The frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to fully develop around age 25 and has the highest plasticity throughout life, meaning that it can easily change connection and make new ones. And why do we care about the frontal lobe? Well! **Bill Nye the Science Guy enters from stage left** Frontal cortex is said to process reasoning and decision making. hmmmm…

So here are my Top 25 things that I’m excited about being 25 for!

25 Reasons Why the Age 25 is the Shiat.

25- Once you turn 25, car insurance companies can lower your rates, because statistically car accidents go down. Plus they like the sciencey part of your brain being fully developed (and Bill Nye).

24- After the age of 25 you start to slowly lose your memory. Some would say this is a negative. I don’t know about you, but I’m just going to use that as an excuse in sticky situations. OH, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pay that bill late…I’m 25, losing my memory. SEEeee.

23- My chance of getting a divorce goes down by almost half! DANNNNNGGGGG. I don’t want to get divorced, so I’ll take it. So far, so good.

22- 25 is hot. Period.

21- I’m not in school and have been working out in the real world for a couple of years. I’m getting a hold on this strange thing called life.

20- It’s time to start doing the shit I’ve always said I’ve wanted to do. I’m kind of already doing it.

19- I can rent a car without crap going down like extra deposits or whatever they drum up.

18- 25 years of experience under your belt of a lot of things. You could be considered the master of some things. The Master of Walking. The Master of Breathing. The Master of…Sleeping. It’s really up to what you are feeling like claiming. And proud of. I’m proud of my capability to fall asleep instantly-I’ve had a lot of practice.

17- For ladies, you are half way there to becoming a part of the Red Hat Society. I already have my application filled out.

16- I’m almost home free of mental illness! 1 in 5 US adults have mental illness. BUT in a study the 18-25 age group was reported as having the most mental illness, and more women than men were afflicted. 25 is one year close to being home-free!

15- It just sounds cool. Say 23 outloud. DUMB. Twenty-four. Um, who cares? 25. Wow.

14- 25 is half way to 50. I better make these next 25 count.

13- According to Wikipedia, twenty-five is is the natural number following 24 and preceding 26.

12- The Atomic Number 25 is Maganese, a hard brittle grey polyvalent metallic element that resembles iron but is not magnetic; used in making steel; occurs in many minerals. And that’s just bad ass.

11- 25 is a square number. 5² = 5 × 5

10- 25 is also the day that Christmas is on, and even if you’re not religious (like me) it still has a special feeling associated with it. Happiness.

9- The Sun rotates once in 25 days near the poles and about 30 days near its equator.

8- $0.25 is the best coin. I feel rich when I find a quarter.

7- I could be in the United States House of Representatives- 25 is the minimum age! Watch out Washington!

6- When Orson Welles was 25 years old he directed directed and starred in Citizen Kane.

5- After May 1 I will have said I ran a full marathon at the age of 25. Definitely never thought that would happen.

4- 25 is a great age to be single. Why? Because you have that awesome brain all developed and you can make super smart decisions about YOUR future!

3- Like Daft Punk says, you are harder better, faster, stronger.

2- I think I’ll reiterate the fact that is sounds cool. Tweeeeennnnntttttyyyyyyy-fiveeee. Yup, it still does even all slowed down.

1- And the #1 reason turning 25 is the shiat! Because YOU MAKE IT BE THE SHIAT!

Yours celebrating all of these reasons,

25swf