COLONOSCOPIES for everyone!

When it comes right down to it a colonoscopy saved my mom’s life.

She’s in her 60’s and you’re routinely supposed to have them when you are 50 and beyond. She postponed it because who wants a camera up their butt? I mean, maybe like 2% of the population I can see being into that, but for the masses in their words, it’s just… “Ew.”

The news came rolling in through my iPhone on Friday afternoon. Stage 3A. 6-12 chemo sessions. PET scan. Chemo port in her chest.

All I keep saying in my head is “BOO Cancer.” Just BOO.

Positives are coming out of this, of course, with any situation there are always things you can grasp onto for reason. They keep you sane. They keep you hopeful.

I think this is what they call faith.

I would much rather have a cancer-free mom. As an only child of a single mom the world could be SO much lonelier. Thankfully I am surrounded by loving people, and all the rest can go fuck* themselves.

So far I’ve learned the most valuable lessons from this experience. While I refuse to Google any of the things my mom tells me, I’m sure there are others out there who will venture to the interwebz for colonoscopy information. I am not a doctor, obviously. But this is my 2-sense.

1/ If you have family or friends in the hospital make sure to feed the feeder. Offer to bring food and even if they deny it, do it. If you can’t be there, text them to ask how things are going. It’s the thought that matters.

2/ If you are age 50– get a colonoscopy, damnit.

3/ If you have a family member diagnosed with colon cancer, get a colonoscopy at age 40, damnit.

4/ Encourage anyone in your life age 50 and over to get a colonoscopy, damnit.

5/ If ANYTHING on your body seems different/strange/not right go to the doctor immediately. Take your health seriously and you will have a fighting chance.

*For those who have criticized my “un-lady like” language on this here blog, you can go fuck yourself, too. Cussing is good for the soul, so get over yourself.