Times They are a Changin’

With the changing leaves and colder breeze, I recently had an idea.

I want more voices on this here blog.

If I had a sign it would say, “CALLING ALL SINGLETONS AND MORE!” Male, or female. Old, or young. Games of Thrones fan, or not. I’m looking for some new guest bloggers to hang out and talk about the nitty gritty relationship stuff. Whether you are single OR in a relationship, I want you!

Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking to you married folk, too.

Fill out this form and tell me a little bit about yourself and I’ll check ya out and see if you would fit. You could be a reocurring guest blogger, or a one-hit wonder. It’s up to you! I just know the world wants to hear your story, and this is a safe place to tell it.

This blog is about relationships, and it’s mission is to make people with broken hearts feel less lonely — women feel less insane about having emotions — and men feel less baffled by lady emotions. The goal is simple: let’s talk about the complexity of relationships and lurv. Clearly, there is a lot to talk about, and neverending stories to tell.

Kick It

I’ve been trying to shove it out of my head, or *kick it, as I call it. This feeling of lostness and depression keeps rearing it’s ugly head.

Due to life, my plans have changed. I am thankful. I am grateful. And then I just find myself feeling overwhelmed and I don’t know where to begin.

The house is a mess, I don’t want to clean it.

My resume needs a revamp, I don’t want to do it.

There are movies to be made, I don’t want to make them.

There are things to do. Lots of them.

I don’t want to do any of them.

This is my depression. Going on about three weeks now I have felt awful, and then better. Then awful again.

The only thing that keeps me sane nowadays is my relationship with Mr. M. His existence gives me hope.

For me, I know this is circumstantial depression. My mom, my friend’s dad, my uncle, Janet. Lots of sadness has been had in the past 6 months. I hate wallowing, and I can’t stand whiners. But life is really sad sometimes and it’s hard for me to accept that. I just want the lost feeling to go away.

I need a sign.

Yours trying to kick it,

25swf

*Kick it: the act of “kicking it” is a visualization I’ve done since I was a teenager. When my mind starts writhing and swirling down the rabbit hole of insecurity, worry, negativity, etc. I visually kick that thought out of my head. It flies high and far away from me. Thus, my opinion is that strong legs are helpful in life.

 

It’s so good it hurts

When my friend replaces I with we when she talks about anything

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This Tumblr.  The end.  You’re welcome.

With the Pinterest world and real world coming at me from various directions, the thought of marriage is pretty much a constant in my life. When I found this Tumblr, it was like a weight (I didn’t even realize I was bearing) had been lifted off my shoulders. Funny how humor can do that for you.

Yours laughing all day,

25swf

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you.

Yes, there’s a chance I’ve fallen quite hard over you.

Yours quoting songs today which may (or may not) be related to current 25 single white female life events,

25swf

Listen and vomit a little.

66.67%

Yup, I did some math for ya’ll. (I may have googled it, shhh) It’s March 20, 2011 and I am officially 66.67% done with my Vow proclamation of no touching, foundling, kissing, groping of any kind for six months. Wow, and it’s almost over.

I’m kind of proud of myself. It sounds super easy, but can you name the last time you didn’t have physical contact for six months? I’m talking about anything- cuddling is unacceptable! A quick peck on the mouth…NOPE! I better not see you holding hands…because I’m even counting that!

See, it’s hard.

Well, it’s really hard for me. I love physical contact. By body is used to being touched. It has been touched in some shape or form since I was 15 1/2. I’m going through withdrawals. TOUCH ME!

No wait, don’t. I have 60 days left.

And actually, I was considering renewing the Vow come May 20. I’m kind of afraid for it to end. What does that mean?

I’m afraid if I end the Vow I may go fall into a relationship. What if I meet someone and they are all cool and dreamy and I just fall back into my old habits of habitually relationshiping? That terrifies me.

It terrifies me because I don’t want that, but that hasn’t stopped me before. It’s also disturbing because I have been using the Vow as an excuse. A protector, of sorts. Life a beefy man with a tight shirt on who says, “Excuse me buddy, back it up.” The Vow is my bouncer, and I don’t want to let anyone in dis klub.

I know it’s not like I’m going to walk around with a sign on my neck that says, “Open for Business!” But will I give off that vibe? Will I seem “open”? That’s where things get dicey.

The Vow may be turning into a crutch, but I think I need it for a little bit longer. I’m still limping around a bit. 60 days left to decide.

Yours almost there,

25swf