Guest Blogger – BibleBeltRebel: Why are bad boys so good?

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

My personal resume boasts a graduate degree, stable income and independence, an awesome rack and quick wit. All of which make me a pretty damn good catch if I do say so myself… add in my photographic memory for every article and tip I’ve ever read in Cosmo magazine and voila, DREAM BOAT!

I’m very close

I’m very close to buying my mom an eHarmony subscription, account, dealio. The woman has been single for…25 years. I am 25 years old. You do the math. (I only give you easy problems) I can’t even imagine my mom with another man. It weirds me out a little. But I want it for her. I want her to be happy (happier). Let me explain.

For years the reason for her singledom has been that she’s happy with her life and she doesn’t need anyone. She has said that sometimes she gets lonely, but not enough to put up with another person.

My mom has been married twice. She was not married when she got pregnant with me, at the age of 35. My dad was not too kind when that happened. I believe the words he told her, before he drove off were, “You need to think about how you got yourself in this situation.” He wanted her to have an abortion. She didn’t want to. 9 months later, Baby Girl (insert last name here) was born. I didn’t have a name when I went home from the hospital. I digress…

My mom needs a buddy. A pal. A man. A guy friend. A date. A wang.

She’s “happy” alone…but here’s the deal. She’s afraid to admit that she’s lonely. It makes her more lonely. But I can tell. I know this woman…and she is lonely.

She’s elluded to be curious about dating sites. She’s never took the leap before. Mainly because of money. Online love is expensive! $59.95 for one month on eharmony. I KNOW! Dannnng.

So I’m ______ this close to doing it. Her birthday is right around the corner. She will be 61. It’s about time she found an old fart to fart around with.

Yours hopeful for interwebz luv for my mama,

25swf

update: I bought the subscription and at first she was upset that I “wasted” my money…but knowing my mom, I let it sink in and she’s already talking about losing weight and getting ready to start going on dates and getting some free dinners. It’s a step, I’d say!

Guest Blogger – firstand25:Yo Peeps of 25swf!!

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

When I was first approached to start blogging about my love, sex, and relationship life, I was scared. I don’t think I was scared of people reading about my personal experiences, or judging me, or anything like that, I think I was mostly scared to open myself up to let others in on what happens in my head every single day. I know if you don’t write openly and honestly, then you start to sound boring and rehearsed. Nobody is interested in listening to somebody give the half truth, they want all the raw, dirty details. I have no clear intention in my writing, just mainly thought it would be fun, but maybe the words I write will ring true to somebody reading them, maybe I’ll be able to bring comfort to someone struggling with the same things, or maybe I’ll provide a laugh, and who doesn’t like to laugh?

Anyway, I’m a freedom fighting, feministing, liberal, badass. So if I ever write something you disagree with, good! If you think I’m “totally right on”, great! Let’s fight, sisters!  Let’s fight for what we believe in, let’s fight for what’s right, let’s fight for the greater good, let’s fight for equality, let’s fight for all the little AND big girls out there, let’s fight to fight!!! Now…don’t get me wrong, I’m not a man hater, in fact, I love men, without them, we aren’t here. I’ve met some very caring, compassionate, and loving men in my life, and I LOVE that I know them. I’m a sucker for the nice guy(think Patrick Fugit in Almost Famous). It’s the fact of pinpointing that one best friend to spend the rest of your life with that’s the issue isn’t it?  But for now, let’s not think about this, let us cherish who we are, where we’ve been, the people we’ve met, and where we’re going…we’ll focus on the love and other stuff later on.

In any case, I have zero credentials for writing(except the fact that I’ve been SINGLE for a long time), I generally have terrible grammar, and I’m new to the writing online game, BUT,  I hope you enjoy what I have to say, and thanks for letting me ramble. I look forward to writing more.

- firstand25

The key to life…via Will Smith

Oh, Will Smith…you are really doing it for me right now.

Speaking of running…marathon training has started. That’s 26.2 miles, justsoyaknow. I did it last year…barely. Now I’ve committed myself again…no thanks to a certain Wolf Shorty out there

Here’s to 4 months of running…a shit ton. This time I’m cross training to avoid the 13 extra pounds that snuck their way onto my hips, buttocks, and thighs. Keep the goldfish (cracker not the fish) away from me, I’m on a mission to get lean this time.

Yours taking advice from a Man in Black,

25swf

Settling Down

A friend posted this on my wall the other day…

Little did she know “settling down” has been on my mind A LOT lately. Partially due to the fact that my best friend is getting married and we’ve been dress shopping a few times in the past month. Mostly due to the fact that (whether I like it or not) ever since I was a wee-one, I imagined getting married and doing all those things married people do. Which is odd because I had no central man figure in my life growing up (which I have a post about coming up) and my mom never dated. Like never. Marriage wasn’t something I was actually exposed to as a child…it was still something I romanticized.

And let’s be real. Damn Pinterest is making me feel a little antsy about settling down. All those amazing wedding ideas just flashing themselves at me. OF COURSE I have to pin them…in a board I call “Futures.”

But at the end of the day, I know I’m not even ready for that. I have plans to move in the next year. I have a lot more to worry about, and it doesn’t involve lace sleeves and trumpet shapes. I still daydream. And I wonder when I know when I’m ready? I guess I’ll know when I’m asked. And for some reason this video made me feel better about it all. Like I’m not the only one…with fears of suburbia (see my Revolutionary Road post) and the urge to settle down.

Yours feeling less alone thanks to Kimbra,

25swf

Happy Spot #3: Cuddle Fuddle

I think the best part about being in a relationship is when it starts getting cold outside you can conserve your energy bill by cuddling with the warm body next to you.

The other day Mr. M and I cuddled up and the next minute we were waking up. I don’t even remember feeling sleeping. We just fit perfectly. It was perfectly warm. Perfectly spaced. And we both fell asleep without even realizing it. That’s when I knew… we were (officially) a fit for serious cuddling. Phewww…that’s a relief.

Yours all cuddled up,

25swf

Guest Blogger – 1foot: Okay. I’ll Be Honest.

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

In an attempt to get in touch with how I truly feel about things right now so that I can decide what to do later, I would like to try honesty and NOT over-editing this post.

I miss ___. I do. I didn’t think I would still miss him this far on. It’s been 1 year, 2 months, and 26 days since we officially broke up, and 5 months and 20days since I asked him not to contact me anymore and quit talking to him. I still think that was a good choice, all things considered, and I’m not regretting that or missing our romantic relationship.

What I miss is having a friend, with whom I was completely and utterly honest, who knew more about me than a lot of people, and lived 15 minutes away. I have some friends like that now, but life and distance (distance is a big one) get in the way a lot of times. I’m not really one to bring up my problems unless we’re in close proximity (with each other or with my problems), or if you force me to tell you or ask point blank. I don’t know, maybe I’d rather everyone just understood what was going on in my head and offered to help whenever I needed it, magically guessing when I needed something. It’s hard when I want to reach out to someone and then think, nooooo… they’re probably enjoying their night, or their morning, or are busy with things, or happily going through their day with nary a thought of me in their head. UGH. That sounds so self-pitying. I don’t pity myself. I just don’t think that my problems matter much to other people. WHAAAAT. That’s dumb. I definitely have people to whom I know my problems matter. I know that. I just have a very, very difficult time reaching out, for some reason. I had a period after the relationship ended where I was better about talking about how I felt, about reaching out when I was sad, or when I missed him. Then after a few months I decided I was annoying everyone around me because they’d get (or I’d imagine they’d get) that distant look in their eye when I brought up his name.

Technology and the power to exploit the creepers

This is the pretty much greatest thing ever…perhaps Creepy Bob will think twice before he acts all creepy again. Not only does this provide some entertainment value, it also is a really smart way to prevent stalking and have a records of Creepy Bob’s phone calls.

For the full story see Laughing Squid…and subscribe to it because it has all the best things anyways.

Guest Blogger – 1foot: Single And Not Looking, or Save Your Pity, Relationshipped Friends!

(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)

I got asked out on a date a while ago. I accepted and we made plans. Then I thought about it some more and cancelled the date.

WHAT??!! But, 1foot, you’re… you know… *stage whisper* SINGLE…

Yep. I am! And I didn’t like the guy who asked and knew I wouldn’t be interested in him no matter how many dinners we had and… the list goes on.

I wanted to write about why I’m happy that I’m single, but it’s hard to write such things without sounding sort of dippy or defensive. But, so it’s out there in the most direct way possible – I’m happy I’m single right now, and I’m not saying that in a dippy or defensive way. I obviously still want someone to love me at some point in that relationshippy way; I’m not denying that that is a happy and fulfilling way to exist sometimes.

BUT

The Dating Monster

I am not opposed to people meeting online. I mean, technically that’s how I got to know Mr. M. My friend told me about him and I looked up his work, friended him on Vimeo, and the rest is history. But real dating sites kind of scare me. Like a monster under my bed, I know there’s nothing to be scared of, but it’s because I don’t look under there and create my own scenarios of what lies beneath.  But it’s not really the site, it’s the idea of…dating. I’m not a good “dater.” It’s just a fact. I don’t know how to really “date” people…I get to know someone and then I either want to be with them or I don’t; a common affliction of a serial monogamist.

Mr. M is the first relationship in my life where we have taking things uber slow, but not dumb slow. I’ve known him since March, and usually by this time we’d be saying the big four letter word (you know, LOooooVE) to each other. But we’re holding off. We haven’t even talked about it. And I know why…because we feel the same way about it. We want to wait for it.

All this to say/ramble on, I think dating sites are really great for a lot of people. I read this on Mashable.com today and it got me thinking about all of the ways you can meet someone. Who’s to say one way is better than the next? Have you ever dated someone you met online? Would you recommend it?

Yours world wide web-wondering,

25swf