(This post is part of an awesome series of awesome 25swf guest bloggers- read about them here!)
I’m tired internet friends. I am at a very weird point in my life. You see, for the first time in probably my entire life I am focused almost solely on my career. It’s sort of scary. And for those of you who know me, (so like none of you yet?) you know that is a little different than my normal swim through life.
I’ve been in a relationship pretty much from the time I was 15 until I was 20. Not the same one. Three of them. Very involved and intense ones. I had a short 6 month break or so in there in an incredible attempt at “finding myself.” As if that’s a 6 month journey. “Like, no problem, dude!” (have to think Spicoli on that one..) I am single now. SWM! Wakka wakka? I have a crush on this girl which is nice. She’s pretty cool.
I guess the problem I am having is that while I am all for the occasional one night stand or casual FWB thing, I am most certainly more inclined to be in a relationship. Wait.
Stop.
Let me reroute. Actually just for general knowledge, I’ll probably do that quite a bit. I’m sorta crazy. But fun crazy…?
I have always lived on the outside of this world. By that I mean of my things, my stuff, my me is given to me from a place other than here. It’s alternately awesome and not so awesome. One of my favorite things about myself is that I love. Everything. Everyone. It’s obnoxious. And also one of my least favorite things about myself. So I like to give that love to everyone I can, but when I have a someone to focus all of that love on… It’s just easy.
I’m also not a halfway kind of guy. If I am going to be in a relationship, I am in it 100% So I find myself hesitating to say anything to this girl because I am really trying hard to focus some of that love on myself right now. And I know it will be difficult to make sure I give myself what I need while still focusing on my partner like I want and they deserve.
Confusing stuff.
Alright. That was a lot. Let’s keep going. I’m 21. I live in Los Angeles, CA. (Pray we don’t fall into the ocean. That shit could happen, yo.) I’m from Okiehoma, born and bred. I’ve been in varying lengths of relationships, and I was engaged in one of those three very serious ones.. I’ve learned so much about myself and about life since making this change in my life and focusing solely on my craft. Which is acting. Also school helped a lot. I feel like I’m going to explode sometimes because there is way too much information to digest.
I’m in love with otherworldly things, (me! duh!) like astrology, (Pisces, Scorpio, Scorpio) numerology, (I’m a 9) psychosis, mind reading, Reiki, (a personal favorite) and the occasional Catholic Vampire Worship. Oh, and I love Bill Hicks. And Standup. Live to Laugh. It’s a motto.
Hey guys. Good to meet you. 🙂 I’ll leave you with something I wrote in a random fit of inspiration one day.
Declare Your Craft.
Yes, I am an actor.
I live the suspension of disbelief every day and through this I am free. I know that anything is possible. I transcend time and space on a daily basis. I will show you things that you do not want to see. I will tell you things you do not want to hear. I will do things you do not think can be done. I will challenge beliefs. I will challenge faith, morals, religion, politics, emotion, compartmentalized convenience, and the fantasy dream world that most of the world chooses to try and live in. I will challenge you. For this I will be revered to the highest power and hated more than the Devil. I am opposition incarnate embodied in the extremes of life. A sound smith searching for some subtext. I dance to the very fringes of human behavior to show you people what you do to each other every day without even realizing it.
I will make an ass out of myself and you will laugh. Most of you won’t realize that it is not me you are laughing at, it’s yourself. I am a catalyst. I will change the way you see life and through that you will learn to change the way life sees you.
I create movement with precision. I work constantly on things that most would see as foolish. I can have a flashback in Florida and die on a battlefield in France, guts spilling to the ground, all in a day. I think I’m the best thing since buttered toast and the worst thing since the Crucifiction. I don’t care what people think of me but I do care what people think. I’m complicated, creative, and crazy.
Yes, I am an actor.
Declare Your Craft.
Much Love Kings. Y Chromey.
25 Single White Female 